05-06-08

7am
Grandma wakes me up. Friends at door. They tell me to get ready cos we gotta go and check out a few gyms. I get ready, no breakfast, and tell grandma and aunt that im going with friends to check out a few gyms. I go out, and they say "Why are you all dressed up? Where are you going?" It was all a joke. :|
These 2 guys are my only real friends here. I laugh it off. They go, and instead of going back home I go to a nearby ice cream parlour, sit their for an hour, eat some, and then back home.

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830am
Turn on my PC, watch a few music vids, and then, I delete the "pawn" folder. 10gbs of prOn, all gone. It feels good. Very good.

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10am
I get an email from X. Now, X is my very good friend. My first female orkut friend. We've known each other for over an year now. So umm, I get to know that her best friend of 15years has committed suicide and she's dead. X is a very sensitive girl. I feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do to make her feel good. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through.

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1pm
I come to know that my mom isn't doing well, diabetes and all. 5000kms away, I feel so helpless, again...

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3pm
For the next 3 hours, I try to sleep, but I can't.

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6pm
I open Orkut, click on Login, and the next thing I know, my Orkut has been suspended, my "home", gone..
I open Facebook, click on login, and this is what I get - "Your account has been deactivated"
I get an email from a guy "Lol I hacked your account and deactivated it haha" :|

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7pm onwards
Numb and idle. Don't know what to do, where to go. Luckily, one friend comes online on yahoo. I get an sms from him. Someone cares. I keep clicking on Inbox. Maybe someone will mail. Sadly, no one does.

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Head down, I think about X, her friend, mom, Orkut and Facebook, it all seems like a joke. But as I slowly accept this bitter truth, I get this weird sinking feeling.

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God has been very funny today. I know He's testing me and my patience. I won't curse Him. I won't question Him. Everything happens for our own good.

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As I type, I realize that I have no one to talk to, no one to call or sms to.

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"God, are you reading this?"
There's only one thing I want right now, and I'd do anything for it.
I want to hug someone and cry my heart out. Even if it's in my dreams, i'll be more than happy.
I miss my mom.
I miss my dad.
I miss my best friend.