Fluffy Feelings

You, You and You.

2009-05-10T14:24:00.005+05:30

You talk about your ex and your bf at the same time. You stop doing that. It annoys me. Alot.

You there, stop bitching about your 9 to 5 job. You are at a better place with lots of chicks around. And you get paid well. So stfu.

You don't even care to say Hi. You got some AtTiTuDe problem huh? You know what? Drop your clothes and fucking wear your AtTiTude only.

You are so retarded. First you send me lovey dovey txts, and then you say "oh we are just friends". Don't fucking play with my mind. You are just a friend to me. Don't expect me to hold your hand or kiss you on your neck. I will fucking break your neck if you go around telling people that I'm your bf.

You bastard. I trusted you.

You confuse me. Because of you, I'm confused. Confusion is because of you.

You are so shameless. How many fucking times do I have to tell you that we are just friends? But no, all the time, you are all over me. It fucking annoys me. Back off!

You are a sadist. I thought you were a good person. But fuck, even you are just like the others.

You there, I fucking trusted you. And you fucked up my case, totally.

You make me feel like shit. You talk and act like as if you are a grown up woman. But no! Wait! Whooosh! Reality check! You are just another typical loose retarded egoistic teenager with no sense of purpose. Stop fucking with my mind. Stop punishing me for all the wrong things. I fucking don't deserve this.

And You! Yes You! You there!

Please come back. I miss you.

A B C Death.

2009-02-02T16:26:00.002+05:30

Yesterday, I did something for the first time. I really dont know if its a good thing or not. But all I know is, whatever I did, I'll remember.

I had my Management Aptitude Test yesterday. Sucked. Woke up early. The centre was way too far. I thought so. But it was just a 30 min ride in this.(not the same, it was green and without the jingle bell school thingy). To reach the centre, I had to change two autos. So the whole route was like A to B to C. C being the centre. I reached the centre at around 9:30. Exam commenced at 10. Ended at around 12:30. I would've reached home at around 1. But I didn't. Reached at around 3.

For 2hours and 30minutes, I was going from C to B to A to B to C. For some unknown reason, I didn't want to go home, I didn't want to go to a friend's place, I just wanted to stay in the auto and stare out of the window. It felt empty. It felt safe. It didn't feel good at all. Felt bad? Not really. Depressing? Sort of. But it felt safe. The feeling of being in solitude even when everyone is around, one of a kind feeling. Most of the time, the auto was jampacked. Women, men, kids. All of em. But I was just so oblivious to everything and everyone. I was lost in my own world. I could only hear my thoughts and questions, thats it.

"Where do we go when we die?"

"What is afterlife like?"

"What if I stick my head out of this window for a while?"

"What if I jump out of this auto? On this busy road?"

"Why do I feel empty all the time?"

"What is my purpose?"

"Why do I feel like I'm the most hated person?"

"Why am I not going home?"

And of course, I was trying to answer these questions, but in vain. For the first time, I truly felt what is it like to lead a life without any purpose. And it felt strange. Mystical actually. I've always wondered about death. It intrigues me. And yesterday, somehow, I felt like I was real real close to it. All this time, I felt my life had no purpose, I had no one to think about, no one to go to, no one to care for, nowhere to go. Why was I alive? I could hear a whisper at the back of my mind, "Go, discover afterlife." It was strange. It was empty. Void. But it felt safe. I dont know why, but it did. I didnt want to go home or anywhere else. In solitude I found "home". A safe haven.

Supressed screams.

Silent claustrophobia.

Look me in the eyes.

I'm your end.

“Whosoever is delighted in solitude is either a wild beast or a god”

- Francis Bacon, Sr.

Scarlet Regrets

2009-01-18T14:13:00.001+05:30

Silent Tide...

2009-01-17T14:44:00.002+05:30

Expectation

2009-01-06T12:44:00.003+05:30

Kamelot - Epica

2008-09-27T18:27:00.012+05:30

Kamelot is a progressive/symphonic power metal band from Tampa, Florida. So far they have released 8 studio albums, 1 re-issue, 2 live albums, and one live dvd. The vocal force behind Kamelot, Roy Khan, joined the band after 2 albums. Their 6th and 7th studio albums, namely, Epica and The Black Halo are the only "concept" albums. Both are based on Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe's "Faust". The plot is almost the same (not disclosing), the characters name changed. The whole story is divided into two, hence the two concept albums. Epica seemlesly blends into The Black Halo. I tried my best to interpret the whole thing. Some parts I couldn't. :S

Epica

Characters

1. Ariel - Also known as Faust. In Kamelot's world, Ariel. Now, Ariel is a scientist/researcher/philosopher I believe. He seeks answers to questions which science and religion have failed to give. He seeks the universal truth. And also, he is God's favorite man.

2. Helena - The only girl Ariel has ever loved. She is everything that's good and pure, personified.

3. Mephisto - An archangel cast out from Heaven. When God ordered all the angels to bow before mankind, Mephisto refused, for he was only loyal to God. He yearns to be with God now.

So here it goes, song by song. Hope you enjoy. Make sure you go through the lyrics.

1. Prologue (1:07)

No lyrics in here. An eerie track. Sort of spooky. Couldn't make out anything. In Faust's prologue, God and Mephisto make a bet. If Mephisto can take the soul of Ariel, God's favorite man, he will be granted a place in Heaven. But if he fails, he will be condemned to hell forever.

2. Center Of The Universe (5:27)

Move slowly
Beyond the colors of my eyes
Move slowly
Into the corners of my mind
Rising like the Pegasus
Each and every one of us
Released
Islands in the sea of dreams
Always searching harmony
And peace

All we find
Reject our mind
Don't you wonder why

If the war by heavens gate released desire
In the line of fire someone must have known
That a human heart demands to be admired
Cause in the Center of the Universe
We are all alone

Show me sign of paradise
A place we all would like to go to
Tell me what to sacrifice
So there's a chance for me to want you

All I find
Reject my mind
And I wonder why

I have a tale to be told won't you listen tonight
Follow me into the core of the fountain of light
Try to imagine that hope is our ship for the soul
(Over the ocean the quest of your life lies ahead)
Maybe together we'll find there's a place for us all
(Follow the star in your mind, sail along sail along)

Interpretation :

In this song, we are introduced to Ariel's thirst for knowledge, his "always searching" mind.

Islands in the sea of dreams
Always searching harmony
And peace

A dreamer. Searching for answers.

If the war by heavens gate released desire
In the line of fire someone must have known
That a human heart demands to be admired
Cause in the Center of the Universe
We are all alone

He believes, at some point, at the verge of death, someone must've known the truth. "In the line of fire someone must have known". In his homeland, the center of the universe, without the truth, he feels alone.

Show me sign of paradise
A place we all would like to go to
Tell me what to sacrifice
So there's a chance for me to want you

He's willing to sacrifice anything to go to that place, to know the truth.

I have a tale to be told won't you listen tonight
Follow me into the core of the fountain of light
Try to imagine that hope is our ship for the soul
(Over the ocean the quest of your life lies ahead)
Maybe together we'll find there's a place for us all
(Follow the star in your mind, sail along sail along)

Here he decides that the answer is not in his homeland, but somewhere else. The lines in ( ) are sung by a female. And she tells him to go on a quest, a journey, to seek the truth.

3. Farewell (3:41)

Winter's close...and the mountain high
I'll start my journey now
On this planet we call Earth we belong
I want to know
Why did God make me feel
There is more to be answered
Maybe God cannot remedy
Our souls if he tried
I seek peace of mind at least
And to know I did my best
I will pray for those I have loved

I must take your farewell
Carried by destiny
Bound to obey

I must take your farewell
Trails of discovery
Lead me an ocean away

No one holds the only truth in his hand
So who am I
To defy even God
In quest for a reason
There's no time to waste I'm afraid

I must take your farewell
Trails of discovery
Lead me an ocean away
So far away

When the tide is high
I won't dwell or wait no longer

Interpretation :

In this song, Ariel sets out on his journey, and bids farewell to everyone he has known. And also rejects God.

Winter's close...and the mountain high
I'll start my journey now
On this planet we call Earth we belong
I want to know
Why did God make me feel
There is more to be answered
Maybe God cannot remedy
Our souls if he tried
I seek peace of mind at least
And to know I did my best
I will pray for those I have loved

Ariel sets on his journey/quest right before winter. He wonders why God made him feel that there is more to be answered in this life. He sets out on the journey, leaving everyone behind, even Helena. "I will pray for those I have loved"

No one holds the only truth in his hand
So who am I
To defy even God
In quest for a reason
There's no time to waste I'm afraid

He rejects/defies God, for God has left so many questions unanswered.

I must take your farewell
Trails of discovery
Lead me an ocean away
So far away

When the tide is high
I won't dwell or wait no longer

The final goodbye. He sails on.

4. Interlude I (Opiate Soul) (1:10)

An instrumental with some italian gibberish and Ariel trembling, cold most probably. I couldn't understand. One thing I could. "Opiate Soul", the title. An Opiate is a drug derived from the Opium plant. So during his journey, he turns to herbs/drugs. How do I know? Track number 5.

5. Edge Of Paradise (4:10)

Sleepless
Not really quite awake
Where the soul conforms
To deeper needs
Free within frames of custody
I revolve my spirit and exhale

On the edge of paradise
Poison burning
In my veins
Unavailing...compromised
My dreams remain the same

Soothing but yet so violent
In this world within the other world
Moonlight...in visions...heaven sent
I see demon eyes and wings unfurled

On the edge of paradise
Poison burning
In my veins
Unavailing...compromised
My dreams remain the same

On the edge of paradise
Powerless
I sail on by
Undermining life itself
My will to wonder why

Interpretation :

Ariel, tired of the fruitless journey, turns to herbs/drugs. And under the influence of these drugs, he sees Mephisto, just a vision, he still isn't sure though. And he has no idea about the bet. Hopeless, he still seeks the truth.

Sleepless
Not really quite awake
Where the soul conforms
To deeper needs
Free within frames of custody
I revolve my spirit and exhale

Clearly, he's high. "Sleepless. Not really quite awake".

On the edge of paradise
Poison burning
In my veins
Unavailing...compromised
My dreams remain the same

Poison be the drugs here. The drugs in his veins. But still, his dreams, the universal truth, remain the same, unfulfilled.

Soothing but yet so violent
In this world within the other world
Moonlight...in visions...heaven sent
I see demon eyes and wings unfurled

Here, Ariel encounters Mephisto, just a vision though. Mephisto seems soothing, yet so violent. More like an evil angel. "Heaven sent, Demon eyes, wings unfurled."

On the edge of paradise
Powerless
I sail on by
Undermining life itself
My will to wonder why

He stills want to know the truth. And he sails on.

6. Wander (4:24)

I recall one summer's night
Within the month of June
Flowers in mahogany hair
And smell of earth in bloom
Only such a melody
Comes without a sound
More than faintly heard by those
Who know what they have found
Now it's just a memory

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way
From morning to night

Meet me by the wishing well
In cover of the moon
Whisper to me tenderly
That I will see you soon
Sing that song from long ago
So I remember you
Flowers in mahogany hair
And mellow days in June
Only for the memory

From ashes we were born
In silence we unite

Interpretation :

Ariel, alone and hopeless, reminisces about Helena. He gives up his search. And prepares to take his own life.

I recall one summer's night
Within the month of June
Flowers in mahogany hair
And smell of earth in bloom
Only such a melody
Comes without a sound
More than faintly heard by those
Who know what they have found
Now it's just a memory

Ariel talks about the time he spent with Helena. And the love they shared. "More than faintly heard by those, who know what they have found". But now, in his darkest hour, it's just a memory.

Silently we wander
Into this void of consequence
My shade will always haunt her
But she will be my guiding light

He wanders, hopeless and aimless. He thinks about her all the time. "She will be my guiding light"

Silently we wander
In search of truth and confidence
So many hopes were lost here
Along the way
From morning to night

Same thing, but then again, he also knows that the path is difficult. "So many hopes were lost here"

Meet me by the wishing well
In cover of the moon
Whisper to me tenderly
That I will see you soon
Sing that song from long ago
So I remember you
Flowers in mahogany hair
And mellow days in June
Only for the memory

One word. Longing. He's dying to get back to her. "Mellow days in June"

From ashes we were born
In silence we unite

This is where he prepares to take his own life.

7. Interlude II (Omen) (0:41)

A very soft and mellow instrumental, thunders in the background.

8. Descent Of The Archangel (4:36)

(((Mephisto)))
Speak my friend
You look surprised
I thought you knew
I'd come disguised
On angel wings...in white
I can make
Your dreams come true
What a couple...
Me and you
On journey through the night

I will show you everything so vividly
You can't deny me

Bathed in moonlight
I'm proclaimed by angels cry
Think well
Do take your time
Because your soul
Will be mine the day you die

Name a pleasure
One...a few
Any form
Of lust in you
Will tremble at my touch
I come down from heaven's light
I have all the perfect alibis
There's so much...

Call my name or carry on
Till that last resistance' gone
I'm sure we'll meet again

I'm your true disciple
When the flesh desires
You won't deny me

Interpretation :

This is Mephisto's song. His descent. Here, he tells Ariel that he can make his every dream/wish come true. But only at the cost of Ariel's soul. He gives him time to consider the offer. But he's sure Ariel will agree. Close your eyes and listen to this song, and you can really see Mephisto's descent.

Speak my friend
You look surprised
I thought you knew
I'd come disguised
On angel wings...in white
I can make
Your dreams come true
What a couple...
Me and you
On journey through the night

Here we see Mephisto trying to convince Ariel that he can make his dreams come true. "I thought you knew", in reference to Edge Of Paradise. Mephisto seems all so angelic here.

Bathed in moonlight
I'm proclaimed by angels cry
Think well
Do take your time
Because your soul
Will be mine the day you die

Mephisto talks about the deal here. He will fulfil his every dream/wish. But once Ariel dies, he will keep his soul. Gives him the time to think.

Name a pleasure
One...a few
Any form
Of lust in you
Will tremble at my touch
I come down from heaven's light
I have all the perfect alibis
There's so much...

Mephisto is still trying hard to convince Ariel.

Call my name or carry on
Till that last resistance' gone
I'm sure we'll meet again

Resistance here refers to Ariel's hesitation to sign the deal with Mephisto.

9. Interlude III (At The Banquet) (O:31)

(((Ariel)))
His invitation was clear
I shut my eyes...and now I'm here

(((Host)))
Please make way,
our host is making his entree.

Interpretation :

Ariel is sort of transported to Mephisto's palace/castle. The whole mood of the song is upbeat, joyous types."His invitation was clear, I shut my eyes, and now I'm here"

10. A Feast For The Vain (3:58)

(((Mephisto)))
Everyone is here
The feast can soon begin
Vanity we celebrate
My favourite of sins

(((Ariel)))
Chandeliers so grand
That heaven sees the shine
And my friend declares
Everything I look at could be mine
It's a miracle
Life till now has been a waste
You have proved to me
By your hand I'm truly graced
Unbelievable
Gold and glitter blinding me
So adorable
All these women from my fantasies

(((Mephisto)))
Come with me my little ones
Let's revel for the free
Raise your glass and praise the fact
How easy life can be

(((Ariel)))
In the splendour of the night
I've found company
Once again I feel that life's begun
All the wrongs seem to be right
Drowned in ecstasy
Every star is like a newborn sun

May the life I knew be gone
I accept the deed
But one point we have to modify
If I wish to linger on
In a state of still
Only then I'm yours the day I die

Interpretation :

Mephisto's castle. So full of everything. All the worldy pleasures. Ariel is definitely awe-struck. Everything just seems so perfect. Ariel accepts his offer. But he makes a modification, a change. If at some point, at some moment, he feels that he has found the answer, the truth, and he wants to stay in that moment, then only he will give his soul away. Mephisto agrees.

Chandeliers so grand
That heaven sees the shine
And my friend declares
Everything I look at could be mine
It's a miracle
Life till now has been a waste
You have proved to me
By your hand I'm truly graced
Unbelievable
Gold and glitter blinding me
So adorable
All these women from my fantasies

Ariel is truly awe-struck. It's a miracle. Women, gold and glitter. It's everywhere. Everything that he ever wanted.

May the life I knew be gone
I accept the deed
But one point we have to modify
If I wish to linger on
In a state of still
Only then I'm yours the day I die

Ariel accepts the offer/deal. But modifies the deal a bit. If he wishes to stay in a moment, where he'll find his answers/truth/happiness, then only Mephisto can have his soul. Mephisto agrees.

11. On The Coldest Winter Night (3:58)

I am breathless,
Need I say
How could you find me here?
You, of all, have crossed my way
Unexpectedly...from where?
I feel like I am dreaming
Hold me close,
Tomorrow may be gone

This is a moment of belief
This is a moment made of dreams
You found me here today
On the coldest winter night
This moment is our right

Now, Helena tell me all
The years we've been apart...
Did you hear the mountain fall?
...my broken heart
Don't wake me if I'm dreaming
Hush, my dear
Because tomorrow may be gone

Lost in the present, I am sure
This is the moment, say no more
You found me here today
On the coldest winter night
This moment is our right

Interpretation :

After leaving Mephisto's castle, Ariel runs into Helena, who has been searching for him all this time. The love is still there, warm and strong. They both spend the night together and during this night, Helena conceives Ariel's child, though neither is aware of this.

I am breathless,
Need I say
How could you find me here?
You, of all, have crossed my way
Unexpectedly...from where?
I feel like I am dreaming
Hold me close,
Tomorrow may be gone

Ariel is surprised and breathless. Never thought he'd run into his lost love. It all seems like a dream to him.

This is a moment of belief
This is a moment made of dreams
You found me here today
On the coldest winter night
This moment is our right

Ariel is happy to be with Helena.

Now, Helena tell me all
The years we've been apart...
Did you hear the mountain fall?
...my broken heart
Don't wake me if I'm dreaming
Hush, my dear
Because tomorrow may be gone

Love is all around. Ariel doesn't want to wake up from this "dream". Because he might not be there tomorrow. During this night, Helena conceives Ariel's child.

12. Lost & Damned (4:55)

Helena you came to me
When seemingly life had begun
Little did I know then
Where this would go
When this begun
Once I was free to fly...
I never promised anything
This may well be goodbye

Don't ask why
Don't be sad
Sometimes we all
Must alter paths we planned
Only try understand
I want to save you
From the lost and damned

Although you hold me close
I feel retention arise
Just as a hint of fear
Like subtle clouds
In summer skies
Once in the moonlight...
I can't explain
And I don't know
Somehow we may reunite

Don't ask why
Don't be sad
Sometimes we all
Must alter paths we planned
Don't forget what we had
But let me save you
From the lost and damned

Love means nothing to me
If there is a higher place to be

Helena don't you cry
Believe me; I do this for you
Heed my decision now
I will be gone tomorrow noon
My tale has just begun
Nothing can take my faith away
In my quest for the sun

Don't ask why
Don't be sad
Sometimes we all
Must alter paths we planned
Leave me behind, don't look back
Because deep within you know
I'm lost and damned

Interpretation :

The "break up" song. Ariel tells Helena that they can't go on. They have to part ways. Tells her not cry. He's trying to save her by letting her go. He knows that the deal with Mephisto might prove painful for Helena. His actions may hurt her. He loves her, but he holds his quest/answers much higher than the bond they share.

Helena you came to me
When seemingly life had begun
Little did I know then
Where this would go
When this begun
Once I was free to fly...
I never promised anything
This may well be goodbye

Helena came back into Ariel's life when his life had begun, as in, life after signing the deal with Mephisto.

Although you hold me close
I feel retention arise
Just as a hint of fear
Like subtle clouds
In summer skies
Once in the moonlight...
I can't explain
And I don't know
Somehow we may reunite

Although they are together, but there is hesitation. Ariel is confused.

Don't ask why
Don't be sad
Sometimes we all
Must alter paths we planned
Don't forget what we had
But let me save you
From the lost and damned

He asks her not to be sad. Tells her to cherish the memories. He wants to save her, from the pain, from his actions.

Love means nothing to me
If there is a higher place to be

Here, he values his quest/answers higher than the bond they share. He still love hers, but he wants her to go.

Helena don't you cry
Believe me; I do this for you
Heed my decision now
I will be gone tomorrow noon
My tale has just begun
Nothing can take my faith away
In my quest for the sun

He wants her to go. He's doing it just for her. He genuinely loves her. But then again, his quest is more important.

13. Helena's Theme (1:51)

(((Helena)))
I remember a song
From long ago
Some of the pieces
They remind me of you
How could I know
You were to leave me
I thought that I was that melody
Oh so wrong
I'm but a whisper tonight

And if this is goodbye
I will leave
But I'll love you
Until the end

(((River Spirit)))
If the grace of God is real
And the word of Christ can heal
Bring their souls to heaven's light
Bless the unborn child tonight

Interpretation :

A very very VERY tragic song. Distraught, Helena promises that she will always love him, even in death. And drowns herself in the nearby river, and the child in her womb as well. The river spirit prays to God. Helena and the unborn child ascend to Heaven. One thing I noticed, the track number is "13". Evil and inauspicious. Her death.

14. Interlude IV (Dawn) (0:28)

(((Town Crier)))
Hear ye hear ye! The lady
Helena has committed a sin.
Now death lies on her, like an
untimely frost upon the
sweetest flower of all the field...

Interpretation :

As dawn rises, the town crier anounces the death of Helena. Her body is found in the river. Her innocence/purity is portrayed so perfectly here. "Sweetest flower of all the field"

15. The Mourning After (4:59)

I just had a dream
She was by the riverside
Alone and dressed in white
Paling in the cold
Walking on the icy face
On memories of glory days

Carry on
Carry on
Meet me on the other side
Once the mourning after turns to day

Carry on
Carry on
Keep on to the other side
The mourning after slowly fades

How could I have known
Just the thought is simply wild
In her womb...a little child
I am left to roam
On the surface of a dream
In a world that can't be seen

Carry on
Carry on
Just you carry on
Till the mourning is over

Carry on
Carry on
Just you carry on
Till the mourning after leaves

Interpretation :

In a dream, Ariel witnesses the death of Helena and the unborn child. Confirmed by the Town Crier, Ariel is bewildered. He grieves for them. But he must carry on with his quest. It would be a dishonor not to fulfil the quest for which he left her, and for which she took her own life. He carries on.

I just had a dream
She was by the riverside
Alone and dressed in white
Paling in the cold
Walking on the icy face
On memories of glory days

Ariel talks about the dream where he witnesses the death of Helena. She's dressed in white, and all alone. And the river is icy.

Carry on
Carry on
Meet me on the other side
Once the mourning after turns to day

Carry on
Carry on
Keep on to the other side
The mourning after slowly fades

He carries on with is quest and tells her to wait for him at the other side.

How could I have known
Just the thought is simply wild
In her womb...a little child
I am left to roam
On the surface of a dream
In a world that can't be seen

He had no knowledge of the unborn child and the thought that the child died along with her, drives him insane. Now he's all alone, wandering in a cold world.

16. III Ways To Epica (6:17)

(((Mephisto)))
When you play with fire
You must anticipate some burns
Chasing for desire...
It's just a different way to learn

(((Ariel)))
I am defected from God
(((Helena)))
God had seized my soul
(((Ariel)))
So low redemptions too far
(((Helena)))
I am heaven's sheen
(((Ariel)))
She's the one that I loved
(((Helena)))
Love is all around
(((Ariel)))
And she tore me apart
(((Helena)))
The dark can never win

(((Mephisto)))
All that I require
Is some trust as the pages turn
I can take you higher
Cause your will is my concern

(((Ariel)))
So long...maybe forever
I must carry on
Why did God take away
That one thing I wanted
Maybe God is the melody
We all serenade

(((Mephisto)))
You would not feel sadness
If you never tasted joy
That's the curse of humans
Born in passion you destroy

Interpretation :

Now this is one epic song. The conclusion to the first part of Faust. And this album. In this song, Mephisto talks about the 3 ways to Epica, the place where Ariel can find his answers. The first way, the first lesson, teaches about how one can learn only from his own mistakes. The second lesson talks about trust. Although, it could be a trick. Mephisto asks Ariel to trust him, for Ariel's will is his concern, and he can take him to a higher place. The third lesson talks about happiness and sorrow. Sorrow is just as much part of life as happiness. And it's more like a curse on humans.

(((Ariel)))
I am defected from God
(((Helena)))
God had seized my soul
(((Ariel)))
So low redemptions too far
(((Helena)))
I am heaven's sheen
(((Ariel)))
She's the one that I loved
(((Helena)))
Love is all around
(((Ariel)))
And she tore me apart
(((Helena)))
The dark can never win

Here, Ariel blames God for everything. He is beyond redemption. He can't overcome the sorrow. He is the reason of her death. He truly loved her. Helena is now in heaven, "the sheen", the brightness, the luster. She says that love is the only truth and against it, darkness can never prevail.

The story of Epica ends here.

Ariel's search for truth landed him in a deal with Mephisto. Under this deal, Mephisto gives him power and all the worldy pleasures. In exchange, if Ariel ever experiences a moment in which he wishes to stay forever, Mephisto will receive his soul, thus granting him a place in Heaven.

Since Helena's death, Ariel has been overwhelmed with guilt and sorrow, leaving him in a very very weak state, a state of despair.

All Mephisto has to do now is claim Ariel's soul, in any way possible.

Helena, watches over Ariel.

What happens next is beautifully portrayed in The Black Halo. It's a very very dark album. And it's all the more epic.

Download the album here.

Walk Walk Walk

2008-09-20T17:01:00.000+05:30

Heh. 19th September. What an awesome day. Adventure, in every sense.
So I wake up. And it's raining. Like heavily. I have to be at the Club Mahindra HQ by 11am. Summer training, tele marketing calls. Sucks to the core. I somehow make it. All wet though. Like literally wet. No, not in that sense. As in, wet, rainy wet. For the first time ever, I totally hated teh AC. I was already wet, and it was like so friggin' cold in that room. The only thing hot in that room was uuuh our training teacher. Offered us coffee. And I was like "oh wow coffee" drink drink. And after drinking, I realized that I was fasting. Selfpwn. And the funny thing is, after I was done with the coffee, she asked me "You don't fast?". Pissed me off so bad. I mean. She could've asked me the same thing before offering the coffee. But then again, she was hot. And I was like "No no, not today." Heh. Women. So seducingly evil.

Evening, it's still raining. Like heavily. I somehow make it to the auto stand. It's a battle ground. People literally humping autos. No chance. I can't imagine myself sitting in the lappy of a 45yr old "chubby&wet" aunty. Skip. Move on to the main road. Same scene. People humping rickshaws. And now I need to piss. I could hear my bladder crying. So I call up my cousin. She works at an MNC. I went there, all wet. I didn't go to the toilet. We both left. And after walking for a while, I said "I need to piss". I just couldn't hold it in there. So we went back. And there I was, pissing in the toilet of an MNC. What an awesome feeling it was. She stayed. She had other plans I guess. I left.

I must've walked around 10kms in heavy rain. The real creepy adventure started now. So I was standing outside her office. No autos/rickshaws. So I walked, and walked, and walked. And I walked all the way to home. 2-3 hours I guess. And it was still raining heavily. The only thing that scared the shit out of me were those electricity cables. Brrrr. And ofcourse, the traffic.

Epic day it was. Once in a lifetime thinger. I'm so proud of myself >_> I'm sad about only one thing though. The coffee thing. Sigh.

A Sign

2008-09-17T16:20:00.004+05:30

An intimation of your love.
Hides behind a disguise.
Your presence, so phlegmatic.
Leaving you, unwise.

Can't stop staring.
Wonder what you're thinking.
Looking from behind the curtain.
The poison, I keep on drinking.

A sign, you think of me.
Alone, all by yourself.
Stare at my photograph.
There, in your hands.

Wash my feelings away.
Another sip of poison.
Look through the glass.
Wait for another sign.

Push the memories away.
They return, so vivid.
The poison in my veins.
Fail to turn them black.

Soothing words once said.
Passionate deeds once done.
Take me back to the time.
Where I felt complete.

The candle that burns.
Slowly fades away.
Wax fills my empty heart.
Tomorrow I may never wake.

Spiritual Midgets.

2008-09-13T14:26:00.014+05:30

Adam and Eve, the first man and woman, were created by God in the heavenly Garden of Eden.
God created Adam out of dust, and then Eve out of his rib. Strange. They were allowed to live in this garden but weren't allowed to eat from the Tree of Knowledge. Now this Tree of Knowledge offered the ability to understand good and evil, something which only God could do at that time. On the other hand, there was the Tree Of Life.
Fruits of this tree offered immortality, a spiritual connection with God at a higher level. Sadly, Eve ate from the Tree of Knowledge, and made Adam eat as well. Forever they were banished from the Garden Of Eden, for disobeying God. They were tempted to eat, all thanks to the serpent, as in, Satan. Yes, Satan lured Eve into eating the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. God gave them a choice. Had they not eaten from that tree, things would've been different. Now, instead of receiving, they had to earn. Earn everything on their own, from scratch. That's what humans do.
For their sin, we are paying. Fair?
We wouldn't be here if they didn't fall for the serpent's trap. Adam and Eve would still be living in the Garden Of Eden, on a spiritual level.

It's quite funny actually. God created man, someone who could disobey Him. Why would He do that? Satan tempts us. God tests us. Like really, what is going on here? God and Satan, both seem like two little kids or uuh midgets fighting over an action figure :/
That action figure be us, humanity.

God has given us a choice. Worship or face the wrath, as in Hell. This doesn't seem like a choice. Seems more like "Follow the system or else you're screwed". Why not any other option? Like maybe "Live, do whatever you want to, I don't care" :S
God wants us to worship Him. Remember Him. Love Him. Fear Him. Praise Him. Extreme Narcissism?

God and Satan, two good friends. I don't know why I believe in that. Satan tempts us to do unholy things, drive us to the edge of insanity, and then we kill, others and ourselves. That's how it's done. People die, and we say, it was God's wish. Or maybe, Satan forces us into the whole killing thing, and then God kills us. Murderers eh? Or maybe it's their way of controlling population :S

If Jesus died for our sins, then why is there suffering all around? Why is God testing us all the time? What is the purpose of life? To pass His tests? That's it? And what do we get in return? Heaven? An imaginary place? An illusion? We don't even know if it exists. Fail the tests, and you are on your way to Hell. Why do Heaven and Hell exist? Why not something else?

I see a pattern, a system in every religion.
1. There is God.
2. There is Satan.
3. There is the Heaven and Hell concept.

And all these lead to only one conclusion.
Gods don't create religions. Religions create Gods. Satan and God are complimentary to each other. Without Satan, God wouldn't exist. Without God, Satan wouldn't exist. It's like an authoritarian system. Under authority, under God, we feel safe and secure. And some like to break free from this system.

/end of gibberish

Oh so

2008-08-30T17:51:00.001+05:30

You in front of me.
Oh so curvaceous.
The sparkle in your eyes
Oh so glorious
Your crimson red lips.
Oh so luscious.
Your breath on my skin.
Oh so pervious.
Your lips on mine.
Oh so infectious.
My every sense.
Oh so delirious.
In each others arms.
Oh so tenacious.
Sing the song of love.
Oh so melodious.

Only You

2008-08-28T19:58:00.002+05:30

You deserve better, is all I hear from you.
I don't want better, for there is nothing as such.
I replace the pain, I replace the tears.
With memories that I'll always hold inside.
I'll do anything, for a place in your heart.
I'll give up everything, just to be with you.
I'll hold on to you, until my last breath.
If it's my fate, then forever I shall wait.
I don't want better.
I want only you.
Ahem <3

Sweet Death

2008-08-28T18:56:00.002+05:30

You showed me love.
Just an inch of it.
I flew with you, spontaneously.
To a place so beautiful.

But then you seized it.
Took it all away.
I'm falling now.
There's no one to catch me.

Lied to everyone.
Lied to myself.

Deceived life.
That I was happy.
Deceived myself.
That it will work out.

Forgetting how to breathe.
How to breathe without you.
Suffocation has taken over.
Waiting for the end.

Looking down a path.
The road less traveled.
So sharp, so crimson and red.
I need it more than anything.

All I drink is pain.
Every drop of blood drained.
Pain shooting through my body.
Through every vein.

I wait for your slightest whisper.
But you can't hear me screaming your name.
And in these dying moments.
I crave for your love, but in vain.

Moonlight

2008-08-28T17:57:00.002+05:30

Chased by ferocious wolves,
In a never ending forest,
Blood red clouds above,
I run, with all my strength...

Trapped in the midst,
Surrounded by death,
I close my eyes and pray,
For the inevitable pain to vanish...

The clouds disappear,
The howling fades away,
Moonlight falling on me,
The surrounding so serene...

Waiting for us to become one,
Starting to despise daylight,
Never want it to come,
You are my moonlight...

My Everything

2008-08-28T15:26:00.000+05:30

Won't let this die.
Everything's nothing without you.
I'll wait till my eyes turn dry.
To hear those words from you.

It's true.
Without you, I'm nothing.

My heart and soul, these words are.
Bleeding heart, you'll never know.
So close to me, yet so far.
I won't ever let go.

It's true.
Without you, I'm nothing.

Hold me as I fall apart.
Whisper sweet nothings.
Mend my broken heart.
You are my everything.

It's true.
Without you, I'm nothing.

Heaven On Earth

2008-08-28T14:16:00.001+05:30

I see my face in your eyes,
You see your face in my eyes,
We embrace each other,
Our hearts beat as one,
Your warm breath,
On my cold skin,
Cleansing me of all my sins,
We stand under the naked moonlight,
Countless stars above,
With you it's,
Heaven on earth, my love.

Bittersweet.

2008-08-27T19:57:00.000+05:30

Words and deeds, sharp as a blade.
Scar my heart, forever the pain will stay.

Words and deeds, more beautiful than heaven.
Heal the wounds, I will never walk away.

Demons of the future, haunt my soul.
Serenity in thy presence.
Take to me a place, oh so peaceful.

Waiting for our souls to meet.
Everything so bittersweet.

I'm so awesome.

2008-08-22T15:49:00.001+05:30

Po-emo

2008-07-23T14:34:00.004+05:30

A poem I wrote last year. Please do LOL :/

I saw you walking down the road.
I looked at you,my mind trippin on words.
A second seemed like forever.
You passed me by,just like a beautiful season

I broke down into tears of blood.
I wish i could tell you.
How much i loved you.

I saw you walking down the aisle.
Looking like an angel fallen from heaven.
The smile on your face,my biggest happiness.
Couldnt make you mine,my biggest defeat.

I broke down into tears of blood.
I wish i could tell you.
How much i loved you.

Despair became my friend.
And happiness my foe.
I'll never forget that day.
Now I lie in this pool of blood.

I wish i could tell you.
How much i loved you.

Dreameth Cometh Trueth

2008-06-13T14:47:00.014+05:30

I want these things.
God, be nice to me ^_^

1. Gibson SG Guitar

Used by many famous guitarists. Used by my Guitar God, Daran Malakian of SOAD/SoB.
Mahogany body and neck. This thing is saax. I wants. $800 :S

2. Jackson KVX10 X King V Electric Guitar

The shreddy look XD
Alder body, duncan design humbuckers, 3 way pickup switch, bolt-on neck, 24 jumbo frets, $500, droooooolz.

3. Xbox 360

Not boasting, but I ownz many gaming consoles. Not this one though. So I wantz.

4. Royal Enfield Thunderbird

Elegance. This "cruiser" makes me go la la la. Avenger and Enticer are suxx. This is the real thing.

5. Mitsubishi Galant 2001

I want to buy this car, and modify it. This car was meant for modding, only. ^_^
Replace the headlights with circular BMW lights. Omg how cool!
Spoiler, 27inchers, sideskirts, front and rear bumper, neon. Omg omg omg!

6. Maruti Swift

For some reason, I totally love this car. Whenever I look at it, I think about neons, vinyls, carbon hoods, bumpers, spoilers. Glossy black body paint, black tints, black alloys, red neon, underhood neon, red speedometer. ^_^

7. Dodge Viper SRT10 Coupe 2006

Thanks to Need For Speed :D
Been in love with this car for I don't know how long!

8. Lamborghini Countach 1982

Countach over Diablo, anyday.

9. Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z 1988

Epic + Retro = Camaro IROC-z

10. Ferrari F40

Epic win.

iGot LOLED, again :S

2008-06-07T11:37:00.001+05:30

Yes, so my orkut profile is functional now. Bad Orkut server. No doughnuts for Orkut x(

05-06-08

2008-06-06T10:15:00.006+05:30

7am
Grandma wakes me up. Friends at door. They tell me to get ready cos we gotta go and check out a few gyms. I get ready, no breakfast, and tell grandma and aunt that im going with friends to check out a few gyms. I go out, and they say "Why are you all dressed up? Where are you going?" It was all a joke. :|
These 2 guys are my only real friends here. I laugh it off. They go, and instead of going back home I go to a nearby ice cream parlour, sit their for an hour, eat some, and then back home.

---
830am
Turn on my PC, watch a few music vids, and then, I delete the "pawn" folder. 10gbs of prOn, all gone. It feels good. Very good.

---
10am
I get an email from X. Now, X is my very good friend. My first female orkut friend. We've known each other for over an year now. So umm, I get to know that her best friend of 15years has committed suicide and she's dead. X is a very sensitive girl. I feel so helpless. There's nothing I can do to make her feel good. I can't even begin to imagine what she's going through.

---
1pm
I come to know that my mom isn't doing well, diabetes and all. 5000kms away, I feel so helpless, again...

---
3pm
For the next 3 hours, I try to sleep, but I can't.

---
6pm
I open Orkut, click on Login, and the next thing I know, my Orkut has been suspended, my "home", gone..
I open Facebook, click on login, and this is what I get - "Your account has been deactivated"
I get an email from a guy "Lol I hacked your account and deactivated it haha" :|

---
7pm onwards
Numb and idle. Don't know what to do, where to go. Luckily, one friend comes online on yahoo. I get an sms from him. Someone cares. I keep clicking on Inbox. Maybe someone will mail. Sadly, no one does.

---
Head down, I think about X, her friend, mom, Orkut and Facebook, it all seems like a joke. But as I slowly accept this bitter truth, I get this weird sinking feeling.

---
God has been very funny today. I know He's testing me and my patience. I won't curse Him. I won't question Him. Everything happens for our own good.

---
As I type, I realize that I have no one to talk to, no one to call or sms to.

---
"God, are you reading this?"
There's only one thing I want right now, and I'd do anything for it.
I want to hug someone and cry my heart out. Even if it's in my dreams, i'll be more than happy.
I miss my mom.
I miss my dad.
I miss my best friend.

2008-06-05T23:33:00.002+05:30

I don't know what to do.
I have no where to go.
I'm numb...

iGot LOLED :/

2008-06-05T19:22:00.003+05:30

"Other Issues Signing in: Unable to access a Google product

Your access to this Google product has been suspended because of a perceived violation of either the Google Terms of Service or a product-specific Terms of Service. Google reserves the right to suspend a Google Account from using a particular product or the entire Google Accounts system if the Terms of Service or product-specific policies are violated. Google also has the right to terminate your account at any time, for any reason, with or without notice. If your Google Account has been disabled, please review the relevant Terms of Service before attempting to create another account.

You may review the Google Terms of Service at http://www.google.com/terms_of_service.html; for specific product guidelines, please visit the homepage of each Google product you're interested in for a link to its Terms of Service."

My Orkut account has been suspended. Omgwtflol XD
I'll make a new one now >_>
Someone hacked my facebook account and deactivated it! Omgwtflol XD

My real virtual world is gone.
Ok, i'm screwed :|

PIYC

2008-06-02T18:14:00.003+05:30

PIYC, pronounced as "Pik", stands for Piss In Your Chaddi. Derived by the one who should not be named, it is used when a person sees, touches, witnesses, feels etc etc anything that's insanely awesome and out of this world, and which literally makes him/her/him+her piss in him/her/him+her chaddi.
(For international users, chaddi = underwear)

For instance..

"Omgwtf! That band is so PIYC! (PIK)"
"Waaooww! She's so PIYC!"
"You heard that album? It's so PIYC."

And yes, please do mention the name of the one who should not be named whenever you use this gr1m and kvlt term.

This post is so PIYC.
kthxbai.

prOn + Vodafone = prOnofone

2008-06-02T16:15:00.003+05:30

Yes, so liek when you activate EDGE/GPRS on Vodafone, you keep getting links in your inbox, as in, Free pics, wallpapers, ringtones and all. That's cool. Liek fEr ReAl >_>

A few months ago, I accessed an "adult" site on my cell, and since then I have been receiving "kinky links". For instance.

Nazare
Haseen nazaron ka luft uthaye apne mobile..Click kare *link*

Bollywood Queens
All Bollywood Queens photos and ringtones! Click on link *link*

Sizzling
Sizzling Models for your mobile! Click on link *link*

Phoren Item (Phoren, seriously, it was PHOREN)
Andaz hai PHOREN ITEM ka nirala, banaye inhe apna..click kare *link*

Rangeela
Rangeeli hasinao ko download karne keliye click kare *link*

Pamela Anderson (Got this 5 times, don't know what's with Vodafone and Pamela)
Pamela Anderson's unlimted FREE photos on your mobile for 1 hour! Click on link *link*

Cheer Girls
Cheer girls se sajaye apne mobile ko. Click kare *link*

Sometimes, I get religious links too :/

Vodafone tracks you. They even read your messages! I came to know this from an insider. Umm, ok, my cousin works there. And since the day she has told me about this, I stopped visiting kinky sites :S

Vodafone owns me :(

JLT.

2008-06-02T10:44:00.003+05:30

A few days ago, I had this conversation with a friend.

Me : Oyeeeee
Him : Hola! Sup?
Me : Nothing much, how come you onlien today?
Him : Jlt.
Me : Jlt?
Him : Lol dude Jlt.
Me : :/
Him : Omg! Noob, you don't know JLT?
Me : Err....no.
*more pwnage*

And I got a scrap from a friend.

"Nothing much, jlt."

So what exactly is JLT?
JLT means Just Liek That. How cool eh? And I did not know :/
Now JLT could also mean, umm, John Loves Toys.
Or maybe Jamaica Loves Tutankhamen.
This is so cool.
How about LOL?
Love Of Lemons, Love Of Lizards, Lizards On Lemons, Loving Obese Ladies, Lots Of Licking.

How about LMAO?
Leave Me Alone Ok, Lend My Ass Out, Linux My Antichrist Overlord, Labeling My Aristocratic Orangutans.

How about OMFG?
Old Mens Fiery Genitals, Obese Motherly Funky Giraffe, Old Mexicans Found Germany.

ROFLWAFFLES!
Really Old Fat Lusty Witch Ate Forty Five Little Edible Sausages!

Omgwtflol! XD
Uncyclopedia is roxx.

4,2 and .............6

2008-06-02T10:35:00.002+05:30

Yes. 4,2 and ......................6
I don't know, but I got this weird thinger for the numbers 4,2 and............6, since I don't know when.
4 seems liek a hot female, 2 a cool dude, and 6 an evil pervert.
So, I want 4 and 2 to always be together. Not 4 and 6.
Hence, I hate the numbers 46,64,146,164 and so on. And I love the numbers 24,42,124,142 and so on. 1 is neutral, and gay.
It always seems liek 6 is evil, and is always harassing 4, and 2 always tries to protect 4.
I totally love the number 426 >_<

12:34 11:11 2:22 3:33 4:44 And so on...

2008-05-15T12:30:00.002+05:30

For over an year now, this weird thing has been happening to me.
So like, whenever i'll look at the clock, it's always like, 12:34 or 11:11 or 2:22 and so on. I never wait, it just happens by itself :|
Thanks to InternetMan, did some googling, and got this.

So you see 1111, 111, 11:11, 12:12, or 4:44 all over the place? Too often to be mere coincidence? Well, you are not alone anymore. We think there are now over 1 million folks seeing these prompts today.

These prompts are caused by a group of fun-loving angels. What George Barnard originally called the Mille-Cent-et-Onze. In fact George first saw the 11 past 11 time signals well before the invention of the digital clock. But it's much easier to spot these digital prompts these days.

The 11:11 Wake-Up Calls on your clocks, microwaves and VCR's are the "trade-mark" prompts of a group of just 1,111 fun-loving Spirit Guardians, or Angels. Once they have your attention, they will use other digits, like 12:34, or 2:22 to remind you of their presence. Invisible to our eyes, they are very real physical beings.

Our earthly 1,111 Angels, often called "Midwayers," have been assisting folks of all walks of life for many centuries.

This is so weird :S

.......

2008-03-24T22:53:00.002+05:30

People say life is a gift. Agree, but I want to unwrap this gift. Often people don't "unwrap" this gift (life), and cherish it, and say "Ahh! It's such a beautiful gift". Maybe they don't want to unwrap. I want to, I want to unwrap this gift, and appreciate it in it's full glory.

Weird, i know.

Questions..

2008-03-23T12:16:00.004+05:30

*Listening to Kamelot's Abandoned*

Who am I? Who are you? What am i doing here? What are you doing here? Why are we here? Why am i writing this? Why are you reading this? Is this a waste of time? Or will this change your life? Forever? For a day? For an hour? For a minute?

My mind is empty. There are no thoughts. Just questions. Questions with no answers. I'm thinking about something right now. Yes, right now.

"What if I make stupid grammatical mistakes in this post? People will make fun of me."

I have no answer. Or maybe I don't really care. Why should I care? I have no answer.
I'm lost. It's like I have reached a dead-end. It's a dead-end to me. This dead-end is like a huge wall made of bricks, countless bricks. These bricks are like questions. I stand here, and I go through each question, but in vain. I try to ignore a few questions. Somehow I manage to break through this wall and the next thing I know, i'm drowning in an ocean. I'm drowning in these questions. I call for help. Far away, I see a ship, there is hope. I try to swim. The ship moves further away, and disappears. My answer is gone. Strange....

What exactly did the above para mean? I have no answer.
Maybe I will talk about my personal life here. I think I will. Why? I have no answer.
This post makes no sense at all. There is no logic. I'm typing whatever that's on my mind.

My name is Amjad. I'm 21. And this is my story.

I grew up in Saudi Arabia. SA be my birth country. I'm an Indian. Proud to be one? No.
Childhood memories, they make me smile. I've always been a very shy kinda boy. An introvert,also. I don't talk much. I don't socialize. No, I'm not depressed. I don't slit wrists. It's just that i want to be alone. Alone with my own thoughts.

Life before 2005

I remember, during my school days, I didn't have many friends. "Hi! How are You?" kinda friends were many. But only 2 were very very close to me. They still are. Family , friends, birthday parties, video game parlors, skateboarding, football matches, tuitions and stuff like that. Internet, for me, was for music only back then. I didn't have time for internet to tell you the truth. Life was so exciting. Had no time for the gf/bf thing. Didn't like it anyways. 10 years ago, I met my best friend. Will always be thankful to God. He is more like a brother to me. He's in Delhi now, and happy. He has friends now. I don't have a problem with that. In fact, I'm happy for him. We talk on the phone sometimes. It makes me feel good. We both have so much in common - videogames, music, skateboarding, talking about almost anything and everything. Weird thing is, we never fought with each other. 10 years, all full of "LOLS" and "ROFLS". We were also known as "The Dew Boys", a Mountain Dew can, always in our hands.

Life after 2005

29th Dec,2004. The day I left Saudi Arabia. I remember, it was around 7pm when I hugged him, for the last time. For the first time in 10 years, we hugged each other in a not-so-gay manner. It was a weird feeling, I wanted to cry, but I couldn't. We just laughed. It's been over 2 years now.
At the airport, it was a different scene. It was terrible. Mom couldn't stop crying, sister had tears in her eyes, but she was smiling. Hugged mom and sis, and then dad. The moment i was about to hug him, i looked him in the eyes, wet. I hugged him, he said "Don't worry. Be good. Take care" and his voice started to tremble, and he broke down. A strong man, crying. I controlled myself. I laughed a bit, made a joke, he started to laugh too. And the next thing I know, I'm sitting in the departure lobby crying like a baby, that was a funny scene. I miss them so much now. I wish i could turn back time, and take away all the pain that I've given them.

Life here in India is completely different. I live with my Grandma and Aunt now, in a very old house, it's almost a century old. Strange eh? I don't have a room of my own. There is no privacy here. I hardly go out. I don't like my relatives. I don't trust them. I have a relative in almost every locality here in Lucknow. So I'm under constant surveillance wherever I go. College friends, I have none. The last bench belongs to me. I hardly talk in class. I don't know why. It's like I'm invisible in class or something. I wake up, goto college, come back, and them I'm online. Enter Orkut.

The Orkut Life

For some reason, I'm thankful to Mr.Orkut for making this awesome social networking site. I've been on Orkut for almost 2 years now. Made hell loads of new friends. I started treating them like real friends.(My real social life is still non-existent). Some stayed, some deactivated their accounts. Some I don't trust, some I do. People ask me "Why are you always online?" I have no answer. And I'm online for almost 6-8 hours everyday. When I log off, I check my scrapbook again through my mobile. I don't know why. Some say, "Go make REAL friends". But where should I go? College? Where no one gives a shit? Where everyone's busy with their love thing? Where else?
Today, I sit here, 20 scraps, pending replies. Why am I not replying? I have no answer. Why is my "pimped" profile empty? I have no answer. Friends think I'm deactivating my account. I'm not. Why am I acting this way? Maybe I want attention? I have no answer. For a minute, I want the whole world to stop, just freeze.

What's the purpose of life? Why are we here? Do you wonder? I do, now.
I think about my future. I think about my parents. I'm there only hope. They depend on me. They are 5000kms away, in a room, thinking about me and my future. And here I'm, listening to music, talking to friends, downloading stuff. Why am I doing this? What if I die tomorrow? What if I die today? My virtual friends, they will never know. In time, they will forget.
We often tend to neglect our parents and their dreams. We pretend that we care and all, by going to college and studying. Do you wonder what people will say once you are dead? As in today? I know, for me it will be like this "He was a decent kid. He was on the computer all day long though,listening to music." I know this for sure. I goto college, I study. But the society always ignores the "good" things. I'm not good at anything, be it studying, gaming, guitar. What am I going to do? How will I survive in this world? How will I support my parents, my "future" wife and kids? How?
I'm looking for a change. I'm looking for answers. I've already found the answer to one question, and it's solitude.
Listen to me,yes, YOU. Love your parents. They've always been there for you. It's your turn now. I did hate my parents when I was a kid. Now I don't. Whatever they say, I know it's for my own good. It always is. Think about those who've lost their parents, and consider yourself lucky. Friends, they come and go. Not parents.
And if you think your parents hate you (sometimes they do), be good to them. No matter how "evil" they get, remember, they are the reason why you are here, in this world.
I believe in God. He is my Saviour.
I want to runaway from everything. I want to disappear.
I'm entering a different world. Maybe I will return. Maybe I will not.
I'm lost. Everything seems so lifeless now.

Why did I type all this? Why did I talk about my personal life? I have no answer...

RIP ChunniLal

2008-02-24T12:33:00.001+05:30

I am so sorry. Forgive me.
Will miss you...

Kamelot - Abandoned

2008-01-18T15:04:00.000+05:30

Once my life was plain and clear
I recall
Once my ignorance was bliss
Nightfall came
Like a serpent’s kiss
To my troubled mind

Why... oh why my god...
Have you abandoned me
in my sobriety
Behind the old façade
I'm your bewildered child
So take me cross the river wide

Binding promisses were made
On my soul
Grand illusions lead astray
Ice cold winds swept my heart away
bring me back to you

Why... oh why my god...
Have you abandoned me
in my sobriety
Behind the old façade
I'm your bewildered child
So take me cross the river wide

I remember a song
like in a dream
Where September was long
And winter unreal

Why oh why my God above
Have you abandoned me
in my sobriety
Behind the old façade
I'm your bewildered child
So take me cross the river wide

How To Get Famous In Lucknow.

2008-01-17T16:43:00.000+05:30

1. Form a band
2. Cover songs from mainstream bands (LP,Greenday,Jal,Nirvana,Metallica and some unholy indian stuff)
3. Create a community on Orkut.
4. Send invites/spread the word
5. Perform at some lame ass mall (crowd=uncles,aunties,kids and emo garlz)
6. More performances.
7. Talk shit about other bands.
8. Talk to emo garlz from the comm.
9. Get laid (highly unlikely)

And voila! you are now a musician with a fan following!

There is quantity, but no quality.

HapPEE NeeWD EeeYAAR xD

2007-12-31T11:51:00.000+05:30

yes,2008,no,2008. its another year, same shit, sadness.
so its time time again for the revolutionary resolutions harharharhar!!!
so like, yes, i'll definitely stick to a few things, like "seriously" bleh xD

1.Watch pr0n, yes! pr0n!
2.Take up the guitar seriously,enough of covering songs,time for my originals,practice everday for an hour.
3.Watch more pr0n.
4.Study hard...ahem ahem *cough*
5.More charity, cut down on uselss spending and stuff
6.Buy an audio cd every month xD
7.More gaming. RAWR!!!!!! >.<

im tired already...sigh...
hopefully,yes, i will stick to all. uuuh...maybe just 6
\m/(>_<)\m/

A Touching Story....

2007-12-18T20:28:00.001+05:30

What would you do? You make the choice. Don't look for a punch line, there isn't one. Read it anyway. My question is: Would you have made the same choice?

At a fund raising dinner for a school that serves learning-disabled children, the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its dedicated staff, he offered a question: "When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query.

The father continued. "I believe that when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped, comes into the world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it comes in the way that other people treat that child."

Then he told the following story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were playing baseball. Shay asked, "Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play, it would give him a much needed sense of belonging and some confidence to be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked (not expecting much) if Shay could play. The boy looked around for guidance and said, "We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."

Shay struggled over to the team's bench and, with a broad smile, put on a team shirt. His father watched with a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart. The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs, but was still behind by three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in the right field. Even though no balls came his way, he was obviously ecstatic just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his father waved to him from the stands.

In the bottom of the ninth inning, Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat. At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all but impossible because Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly, much less connect with the ball.

However, as Shay stepped up to the plate, the pitcher, recognizing that the other team was putting winning aside for this moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so Shay could at least make contact. The first pitch came and Shay swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over. The pitcher picked up the soft grounder and could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been out and that would have been the end of the game.

Instead, the pitcher threw the ball right over the first baseman's head, out of reach of all team mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run to first! Run to first!" Never in his life had Shay ever run that far, but he made it to first base. He scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled.

Everyone yelled, "Run to second, run to second!"

Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards second, gleaming and struggling to make it to the base. By the time Shay rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball . . . the smallest guy on their team who now had his first chance to be the hero for his team. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions so he, too, intentionally threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the base toward home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the way, Shay"

Shay reached third base because the opposing shortstop ran to help him by turning him in the direction of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third!"

As Shay rounded third, the boys from both teams, and the spectators, were on their feet screaming, "Shay, run home! Run home!" Shay ran to home, stepped on the plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the grand slam and won the game for his team.

"That day", said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, "the boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into this world".

Shay didn't make it to another summer. He died that winter, having never forgotten being the hero and making his father so happy, and coming home and seeing his mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the day!

AND NOW, A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY: We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought, but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people hesitate. The crude ones pass freely through cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're probably sorting out the people in your address book who aren't the "appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and humanity, or do we pass up those opportunities and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said, "Every society is judged by how it treats it's least fortunate amongst them."

Everyday.....

2007-09-22T18:57:00.000+05:30

A list of " Everything Everyday "

Sites that i visit everyday.

http://www.facebook.com
http:///www.orkut.com
http://www.last.fm/user/ReD666
http://mail.yahoo.com
http://www.youtube.com
http://www.digg.com
http://www.google.com

Apps that i use everyday.

Winamp
Last.fm
Mozilla Firefox
Getright
Bitcomet
Gtalk
MSN Messenger
Yahoo Messenger

Artists that i listen to everyday.

Mandy Moore
Kamelot
Breaking Benjamin
Lifehouse

One word that i listen to everyday.
"Study!"

My Personality Chart

2007-09-10T17:14:00.000+05:30

Check This Out....Weird.

The Joy Of Giving......

2007-09-09T19:12:00.000+05:30

Last week has been really special for me. I've realized a few things which sure have changed the way i look at life now...the whole perspective..has changed.

I like to introduce you to Mr.A (identity with held), a 35 something, married,father of 3. He lives in a small house, a room actually,with a bathroom. His monthly income is around 1500 rupees. Monthly rent is 900rupees, 100 rupees for the school fees. That leaves him with 500 rupees for clothing,food and other requirements. Survival in this kind of financial position is very very difficult,almost impossible these days.

He comes to our house a few times every week, just to hang around and talk about things. He never asks for "monetary help".

Now, my monthly pocket money/allowance is 2000rupees, half the money i spend on magz,novels,cds. Half the money on petrol,mobile. There is certainly a waste of money. Last week i decided to do something. Something that i'll stick to no matter what happens. Ive decided to help out Mr.A, financially. Yesterday, i went to his house. He was more than glad to see me and he literally hugged me. It felt weird, in a nice way. I talked to him about the "monetary help", and he refused, giving that i'm-so-embarrassed smile. I convinced him and gave him 700rupees. Trust me,he had tears in his eyes. I told him, "100 are for the school fees, the boys education shouldn't be compromised,these boys are your future. And the rest for your other expenses."
This whole thing is just between us two, no one knows about it.And i want it to be that way, i told him. When i was about to leave he just gave me this hug which lasted forever, he was crying. That hug was different from the first one, it was so full of harmony,joy,peace and love. I told him to be brave and believe in the power of prayer and god. The moment i came out of his house, i felt this sudden chill down my spine, goosebumps kinda thing. I was walking down the street and had this big smile on my face, i don't know why.

Now, my allowance has gone down to 1300rupees, and i don't feel bad at all. I'll be helping him out every month. And yeah, next week, there's a wedding in our locality, and i've already donated 300rupees today, for the food. It feels so awesome! I don't know, but it feels so good from the inside when i see people happy...

Now let me clarify a few things. I'm not typing this whole thing just to show people how "generous" or "fluffy"i am, no. I don't want to impress girls and make them go "oh! hes so nice, i'll ask him out.",no. I don't want to get laid,no. I just want you, my brothers and my brother's sisters, to experience the joy of giving. Its a feeling thats worth,umm, i don't know how many zillion dollars.

Just look at the world around you. This world needs you. If people, like you and me, give generously, this world will turn into a better place,thats for sure. We are slaves of the materialistic world. We don't own things, things own us.

In the words of Tyler Durden :

"We are products of lifestyle obsession. Murder, crime, poverty do not concern me. What concerns me are celebrity magazines, television with five hundred channels and a designer name on my underwear"

Just ignore the murder,crime,poverty part.You get the picture.

Ulcers <--> Mountain Dew

2007-07-15T21:07:00.001+05:30

So this is what i got recently...ulcers...and i told my dad about it..the first thing he said "No Mountain Dew Now"

Whats with ulcers and mountain dew? :S

Wokay,i admit, im addicted to dew, 4-5 cans everyday, but...whats the thing with ulcers?

Last year,i was throwing up blood..wokay, not literally, it came out,in a very small amount, when i went *cough* *cough* doctors said that it was due to excess of menthol in my lungs, and menthol is found in.... dew! And unfortunately, the doc told my dad abt this, and then there was "the ban"... well, everything got back to normal....(4-5 cans everyday) when this ulcer thingy happened...and now theres "the ban" again... god help me...

(im still drinking 4-5 cans everyday...muahahaha...the fridge is so big,im hiding the cans in there....muahahaaha)

2007-07-09T23:32:00.000+05:30

UFO Sighting In India

Two unidentified flying objects were spotted hovering/manouvering over Karnal (Punjab) and Delhi. DC of Punjab refused to comment and had a verbal fight with a tv reporter.. Conspiracy? StarNews has been showing the footage, they look like ufos,bluish light,there are actually two ufos in the footage and one does a very cool looking manouver,goes right,stops, and then goes left with the other ufo, something an ordianry jet fighter cant do.....these ufo were apart of type3 civilaztion, to my knowledge... ( later on the types of civilizations)
Aliens do exist, i beileve.

2007-07-09T23:24:00.000+05:30

still alive, and not kicking...

let the blogging begin :D

What Kind Of A Rocker Are You?

2006-04-10T22:36:00.000+05:30

You Are an Emo Rocker!

Expressive and deep, lyrics are really your thing.
That doesn't mean you don't rock out...
You just rock out with meaning.
For you, rock is more about connecting than grandstanding.

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

eh, i want to be myself, unique and different. but i also want to be like daron malakian :)
he is \mm/

What Color Should Your Blog Be?

2006-04-10T22:32:00.000+05:30

Your Blog Should Be Yellow

You're a cheerful, upbeat blogger who tends to make everyone laugh.
You are a great storyteller, and the first to post the latest funny link.
You're also friendly and welcoming to everyone who comments on your blog.

What Color Should Your Blog or Journal Be?

eeww...i hate yellow... Black I Like..BLACK BLACK!!

How Machiavellian Are You??

2006-04-10T22:30:00.000+05:30

You Are The Opposite of Machiavellian

You don't have a cynical, power hungry bone in your body.
Honest and kind, you believe being a good person is the most important thing.
While your upstanding morals should be admired, be careful!
You're at risk for being manipulated and toyed with.

How Machiavellian Are You?

\m/

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

2006-04-10T22:27:00.000+05:30

Your Candy Heart Says "First Kiss"

You're a true romantic who brings an innocent hope to each new relationship.
You see the good in every person you date, and you relish each step of falling in love.

Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a romantic dinner your sweetie cooks for you

Your flirting style: friendly and sweet

What turns you off: cynics who don't believe in romance

Why you're hot: you always keep the romance alive

What Does Your Candy Heart Say?

sweet...

What Color Heart Do You Have?

2006-04-10T18:21:00.000+05:30

Your Heart Is Pink

In relationships, you like to play innocent - even though you aren't.
Each time you fall in love, it's like falling for the first time.

Your flirting style: Coy

Your lucky first date: Picnic in the park

Your dream lover: Is both caring and dominant

What you bring to relationships: Romance

What Color Heart Do You Have?

eheheeh...

What Sign Should You Be?

2006-04-10T18:14:00.000+05:30

You Should Be A Sagittarius

What's good about you: bold and adventure loving, life is one big party for you

What's bad about you: you don't think before speaking - and you often regret it!

In love: you're flirtatiously playful, but you never play games

In friendship, you're: the one who keeps everyone laughing

Your ideal job: fortune teller, philosopher, or athlete

Your sense of fashion: your own mix of vintage and new pieces

You like to pig out on: anything you haven't tried before

What Sign Should You Be?

wow..i am a Sagittarius...im lovin' it

The 5 Factor Personality Test

2006-04-10T18:13:00.000+05:30

Your Five Factor Personality Profile

Extroversion:

You have high extroversion.
You are outgoing and engaging, with both strangers and friends.
You truly enjoy being with people and bring energy into any situation.
Enthusiastic and fun, you're the first to say "let's go!"

Conscientiousness:

You have high conscientiousness.
Intelligent and reliable, you tend to succeed in life.
Most things in your life are organized and planned well.
But you borderline on being a total perfectionist.

Agreeableness:

You have high agreeableness.
You are easy to get along with, and you value harmony highly.
Helpful and generous, you are willing to compromise with almost anyone.
You give people the benefit of the doubt and don't mind giving someone a second chance.

Neuroticism:

You have medium neuroticism.
You're generally cool and collected, but sometimes you do panic.
Little worries or problems can consume you, draining your energy.
Your life is pretty smooth, but there's a few emotional bumps you'd like to get rid of.

Openness to experience:

Your openness to new experiences is high.
In life, you tend to be an early adopter of all new things and ideas.
You'll try almost anything interesting, and you're constantly pushing your own limits.
A great connoisseir of art and beauty, you can find the positive side of almost anything.

The Five Factor Personality Test

nniice...

How Selfish Are You?

2006-04-10T18:06:00.000+05:30

You Are 12% Selfish

In other words, you're a warm, caring considerate person.
Just make sure to get your way sometimes. There's a fine line between unselfish and pushover.

How Selfish Are You?

What Kind Of A Seducer Are You?

2006-04-10T18:04:00.000+05:30

Your Seduction Style: Fantasy Lover

You know that ideal love that each of us dreams of from childhood? That's you!
Not because you posess all of the ideal characteristics, but because you are a savvy shape shifter.
You have the uncanny ability to detect someone's particular fantasy... and make it you.

You inspire each person to be an idealist and passionate, and you make each moment memorable
Even a simple coffee date with you can be the most romantic moment of someone's life
By giving your date exactly what he or she desires, you quickly become the ideal lover.

Your abilities to make dreams come true is so strong, that you are often the love of many people's lives.
Your ex's (and even people you have simply met or been friends with) long to be yours.
No doubt you are the one others have dreamed of... your biggest challenge is finding *your* dream lover.

What Kind of Seducer Are You?

wow....

What Kind Of Flirt Are You?

2006-04-10T11:27:00.000+05:30

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt.And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting.Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt.And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatkindofflirtareyouquiz/

am not a flirt! but ppl say that i am! maybe its natural :)

i'm 19 and i never had a gf...heck ive never even talked to a girl...ya know...as in Face2Face.... hell...not even on the phone....

How Open Minded Are You?

2006-04-10T11:22:00.000+05:30

You Are 72% Open Minded

You are a very open minded person, but you're also well grounded.Tolerant and flexible, you appreciate most lifestyles and viewpoints.But you also know where you stand firm, and you can draw that line.You're open to considering every possibility - but in the end, you stand true to yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howopenmindedareyouquiz/

What Sign Is Your True Love

2006-04-10T11:21:00.000+05:30

Your True Love Is a Cancer

Why you'll love a Cancer:
Cancer's loyal and sincere heart makes your own sensitive heart melt.Caring and devoted, a Cancer will take the lead in pursuing you - and not give up!
Why a Cancer will love you:
You're laid back enough to deal with Cancer's little mood swings and freak-outs.A fellow homebody, you know how make Cancer comfortable and at home with you.

What Sign Is Your True Love?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatsignisyourtruelovequiz/

Eye Color

2006-04-10T11:13:00.000+05:30

Your Eyes Should Be Brown

Your eyes reflect: Depth and wisdom
What's hidden behind your eyes: A tender heart

What Color Should Your Eyes Be?

http://www.blogthings.com/whatcolorshouldyoureyesbequiz/

so true....

Hidden Talent

2006-04-10T11:12:00.000+05:30

Your Hidden Talent

You have the natural talent of rocking the boat, thwarting the system.And while this may not seem big, it can be.It's people like you who serve as the catalysts to major cultural changes.You're just a bit behind the scenes, so no one really notices.

What's" Your Hidden Talent?

My Outrageous Name

2006-04-10T11:09:00.000+05:30

Your Outrageous Name is:

Pat Maweenie

Outrageous Name Generator

http://www.blogthings.com/outrageousnamegenerator/

Am I Evil?

2006-04-10T10:57:00.000+05:30

You Are 12% Evil

You are good. So good, that you make evil people squirm.Just remember, you may need to turn to the dark side to get what you want!

How Evil Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com/howevilareyouquiz/

Aiye...Samurai...

2006-04-04T09:33:00.000+05:30

so yesterday i got my first mobike, and its cooool
its a classic 96 model of
SUZUKI SAMURAI (aiye!!)

well, i was given a choice {{suzuki or enfield}} .. and i said Aiye!!Samurai!!
been obsessed with this bike, its so ..evil..and rare, and i have this habit,, whatever stuff i buy, i never sell it, ppl were like "the resale value is not good" ...whatever... anyways heres that other bike, enfield...i'll buy it someday....whatday... anotherday....anyday...whateverday...not today.

2006-04-03T19:15:00.000+05:30

whoa..my new blog (crowd going crazy) on half-life 2..whoa..

City 69

Teddy The Alien

2006-03-24T14:26:00.000+05:30

""hello world, my name is teddy. and i come from another planet. ""

theres nothing wrong with this cat, its his way of relaxing...
doesnt he look like a teddy bear?

its been a while...

2006-03-24T14:20:00.000+05:30

so...today is the 24th day of the 3rd month...hmm...my last post was on 30th oct.. whoa....its been a while...

so like whoa..im back..whoa..i'll be posting regulary,
(nobody comes here anyway) im just talking to myself...

make love not war

][-][ ][ ][\/][ Dark Light

2005-10-30T18:54:00.000+05:30

][-][ ][ ][\/][ 's latest album Dark Light is excellent..simply beautiful.

][-][ ][ ][\/][ is going to release six diff singles from this album. \m/

Here's my review, ofcourse it'll be a good one.

][-][ ][ ][\/][ Forever \m/

][-][ ][ ][\/][ Dark Light

Tracklist
01. Vampire Heart
02. Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly
03. Behind the Crimson Door
04. Killing Loneliness
05. Dark Light
06. Drunk on Shadows
07. Under the Rose
08. Play Dead
09. Face of God
10. Night Side of Eden

01. Vampire Heart
The title itself is so gothic,i love it. The song has a thrash-metal riff,first one for ][-][ ][ ][\/][And a soaring chorus.

02. Rip Out the Wings of a Butterfly
A very jolly song with an explosive chorus and a good bridge. The verse are equally good. The muted guitar riff in the verse is AWESOME.

03. Behind the Crimson Door
Ville wrote the lyrics in 5 minutes while sitting on a hill in LA.They first called it 'Kajagoogoo' lol. Cheesy beginning, but when the guitar's kick in, its simply perfect.

04. Killing Loneliness
Brilliant song. Thunderous guitars, melodic keyboards, and ville's beautiful voice makes this a 5-star song. Whenever you'll listen to it, you'll sing along with it, guaranteed.

05. Dark Light
Disturbing lyrics, pop feel, grumblin guitars. These kind of songs can be played at "Top Of The Pops" and a metal club. And these kind of songs are rare. This song is for the ladies, very sentimental.

06. Drunk On Shadows
Guitar-dominated,very melodic, dark and broody lyrics= good combination = beautiful song.

07. Under The Rose
First debuted as an acoustic at a ][-][ ][ ][\/][ gig. But in the album, its the heaviest, very punkish. It's the first time that ][-][ ][ ][\/][ use electronica.

08. Play Dead
More like "Sweet Pandemonium" from Love Metal. A beautiful ballad with some heavy riffs. Not for kids.

09. Face Of God
Very very spooky song, crazy thundering drums and a killer chorus.Way to go!!

10. Night Side of Eden
Simply the best. The song is about the politics of heart :) It has a choir too! Will top the charts if released as a single 100% sure.

Overall - 10/10 (It was obvious)

][-][ ][ ][\/][

1. Ville Valo - Vocals (sitting)

2. Linde - Guitar (blondie)

3. Gas - Drums (bald guy)

4. Burton - Keyboard (right side of linde)

5. Mige - Bass (behind ville)

Mommy, I'm Scared.

2005-10-21T15:00:00.000+05:30

Muahahaha!! F.E.A.R !! Are you afraid of being lonely? Are you afraid of spiders? Are you afraid of having an erect penis? Are you afraid of beautiful women? Are you afraid of getting raped? Are you afraid of handsome men? Are you.....Are you.......ssshhhhh.....

Go to www.phobialist.com and discover your F.E.A.R

I am - POLYPHOBIC,Achluophobic,Anuptophobic,Arachnophobic,Cleisiophobic,Coulrophobic,

Defecaloesiophobic,Didaskaleinophobic,Hagiophobic,Helminthophobic,Leukophobic,

Luiphobic,Medomalacuphobic,Papaphobic,Syphilophobic.

What Are You? Ssshhh......

Quake 4 : Underrated

2005-10-21T04:30:00.000+05:30

The most anticipated game of 2005 is out now. Quake 4 released by id Software( developed by Raven ) is the next best thing after Half Life 2. However, there are some homosexuals who think the game is full of shit. And our biggest faggot is the gamespot.com editor who is in love with rpgs and i dont know why he reviews shooters. Gamespot.com gave it 8.0/10 , GTA:SA got 9.6/10. WHY WHY WHY? GTA has no story, its all about shooting ppl,stealing vehicles and bangin ugly chicks in your car. Fuck Gamespot.

Other Ratings

IGN 8.2 / 10
GamePro 4 / 5
Avault 4.5 / 5
1UP 8 / 10
Game Zone 8.8 / 10
CheatCodeCentral 4 / 5
Console Gold 89 / 100
Telefragged 90 / 100

Very Controversial

2005-10-20T17:58:00.000+05:30

<--- Now this is what i call pure controversy. Here we have the Molester and the Molested hugging each other. Something wrong, hmm. A little info on the Molester, you already know the Queen.

He is the God of Child Molesters. He comes from the sky. He is most probably from another planet. He Is An Alien. His name is a synonym for molestation. His name is Molester Jackson (popularly known as MJ).

Back to the real world, we have the Queen teaming up with the FBI and screwin' up all the child molesters, and here she is, hugging the God Of Child Molesters. A Conspiracy? I wonder. What do you think?
Note: FBI Pls Check This Out.

The "Let's Get Molested" Campaign

2005-10-19T12:54:00.000+05:30

**crowd goin woohoo**
Oprah : " Hello and welcome to the Oprah Molestation Show, wow...You ppl are amazing...I was molested blablabla i was molested blablabla she was molested blablabla he was molested they were molested..........."

My friends, say hello to the molestation Queen Oprah...the Queen who has devastated the oh so innocent world of child molesters
there is a strange pattern i noticed yesterday,,,something very wierd, its all about the monopoly and $$$... oprah is a real $$$ freak..

the Queen was molested at a very early age..4 i guess and then at regular intervals...so sorry for the Queen... 2 minutes of silence please

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why was she molested? she isnt even remotely attractive.... what was in the mind of her molester....i wonder...Anyways ppl, back to the main topic, oops, havent even started yet,bah.

Our Queen was molested at a very early age, now she's a grown up woman, and she's most probably wearin pure 24carat gold panties. don't you think?

You still don't get it? Oh puhleez...loot at the title of the post.....anything? bah..
What i want to tell y'all is that our Queen got molested and now is a bling bling celebrity... now it's our turn, Let's Get Molested and become famous and rich, hence The "Let's Get Molested" Campaign. Our Queen is a very cunning lady, she knew that molestation was the only way to get famous, and rich. Our Queen is now a celeb and shes butt-fucking all the child molesters so there will be no molestation victims, i.e, no celebs, very cunning, shes headed for world domination, yeah yeah she looks very innocent, but looks can be deceptive, specially of a molestation victim..beware..

Its about time...LET'S GET RICH...LET'S GET FAMOUS...LET'S GET MO MO MO MOLESTED

LEGAL NOTICE : THIS POST IS IN NO WAY MEANT TO HARM THE FEELINGS OF THE QUEEN, one more thing... I DONT WANNA GO TO JAIL FOR THIS POST. THE QUEEN IS EVIL, GOD BLESS AMERICA FOR THE INTERNET, I GOT FREEDOM OF SPEECH, I DONT WANNA GO TO JAIL... :(

welcome to fluffy feelings....

2005-10-17T18:40:00.001+05:30

amigos...welcome to fluffy feelings .... why "fluffy feelings" ? becos girls like boys with fluffy feelings.. MUAHAHAHA... tried many names..but i guess i missed a whole year in this blog thingy...so whatever...its just a name...
some stuff about me.....
name: amjad
age:20
dob: dec9 86
gendaar:male
location 1: lucknow/india
location 2: jeddah/ksa

interests: hmm..lets see...ah..dammit..its a long list..

movies i like: http://www.flixster.com/user/solitaryman555

music i like: http://www.last.fm/user/ReD666

misc: videogames \m/ xbox/ps2/dreamcast/ngageqd/turbografix owner \mm/i love shooters and hooters :) , hl2 quake3arena,ut2k, counterstrike,halo,halo2, farcry, brothers in arms, XBOX, game design, animation,modelling,guitar, i like the oprah show, becos its all about molestation and baby raping sodomizing perverts,telekinesis,martial arts,nunchuks,shiruken,bo,

guess i'll blog next year... my fingers are bleeding...asjd dfj reopwoq, blud eberybere on mi gaybored...cannon sea duh albabets....

otsego amigo...